Have you ever went to your local travel agent, Wanting a quiet get away? Perhaps one of the places they suggest is Scotland. They tell you what a glorious country it is with its beautiful landscape, lovely beaches and breathtaking glens, They may warn you about the occasional spot of rain or perhaps the ‘neds. One thing though, That they conveniently forgot to mention is the flying-irritus-canivorous-midgitious – Or more commonly known as the midgie.
The midgie was created on the 6th of June 2006 by German scientists who took the DNA of locus, Man eating piranha and the African mosquito and combined them together while reciting incantations over a pentagram to summon forth the satanic blood thirsty superbugs from the very spawns of hell. The scientist were then promptly devoured alive and there corpses were used to host the larva of the first wave of the deadly invasion.
Midgies have since began a rampage to find the most tender succulent flesh on the market – So they naturally come to Scotland where even the men are feminine enough to use skincare products and where skirts.
Midgies have been known to eat a fully grown man alive in thirty seconds flat – Those lucky enough to escape there carnivorous wrath are subject to grouse boils the size of walnuts in every skin pore and orifice across there body where they were tongue fucked by these lethal creatures.
In short – I really hate midgies.
Keep an eye out for next weeks journal – Entitled, Spiders – How I hate thee.
The midgie was created on the 6th of June 2006 by German scientists who took the DNA of locus, Man eating piranha and the African mosquito and combined them together while reciting incantations over a pentagram to summon forth the satanic blood thirsty superbugs from the very spawns of hell. The scientist were then promptly devoured alive and there corpses were used to host the larva of the first wave of the deadly invasion.
Midgies have since began a rampage to find the most tender succulent flesh on the market – So they naturally come to Scotland where even the men are feminine enough to use skincare products and where skirts.
Midgies have been known to eat a fully grown man alive in thirty seconds flat – Those lucky enough to escape there carnivorous wrath are subject to grouse boils the size of walnuts in every skin pore and orifice across there body where they were tongue fucked by these lethal creatures.
In short – I really hate midgies.
Keep an eye out for next weeks journal – Entitled, Spiders – How I hate thee.
